Performance Anxiety

Sex is supposed to be a pleasurable experience, but it’s hard to feel sexy or intimate with your partner when you have sexual performance anxiety. When you’re constantly wondering, “Am I doing this right?” “Is my partner enjoying this?” or “Do I look fat?” you become too preoccupied to enjoy sex.

Sex is more than just a physical response. Arousal is tied into your emotions, too. When your mind is too stressed out to focus on sex, your body can’t get excited either.

Causes of Sexual Performance Anxiety

Many different kinds of worries can lead to sexual performance anxiety, including:

•  Fear that you won’t perform well in bed and satisfy your partner sexually
•  Poor body image, including concern over your weight
•  Difficulties in your relationship
•  A man’s worry that his penis won’t ‘measure up’
•  A man’s concern about ejaculating prematurely or taking too long to reach orgasm
•  A woman’s anxiety about not being able to have an orgasm or enjoy the sexual experience

These anxieties cause your body to launch a response called “fight or flight.” Stress hormones like epinephrine and norepinephrine are released in a series of reactions that were actually designed to prepare your body to run or confront a threat. Of course, your partner isn’t a threat, which is why this response is so counterproductive to intimacy.